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Saturday | January 3rd, 2009

Presenting: Cat Woman! (get it?)

Here’s a little something to break the tension caused by that gruesome shot of Alley Oop emerging from the frothing waters of doom you’ve been looking at for a few weeks.

This savory new piece of artwork is up for auction right now on E-Bay. It’s one of the more alluring marker renderings I have done (I usually stick to watercolor), a sensual portrait of Batman’s favorite purple clad kitten with a whip. It  measures 11 x 14 and was drawn on bristol. A perfect gift for the person you did didn’t give enough to for Christmas: YOU! Bid now!

Baby New Year’s Dirty Diaper

January 1st, 2009

Rang in the New Year toasted like a bagel at Lux, a Rochester booze buffet with a patina of devil worship. I watched the ball-drop projected on one wall of the bar, the video not quite synched with the audio (or perhaps it was the weed) which left me uncertain whether there were still five seconds of 2008 left to me or five seconds less of 2009. Anyway, when the crowd was satisfied that we had crossed the event horizon I surrendered to mob rule and christened the New Year with a prolonged smooch for my girl, and then glugged the miniature bottle of complimentary champagne that Lux had provided me with. 2009 was go.

The New Year does not not begin for me until we have jettisoned the President, however. That blessed act of legal revolution, guaranteed to us by people whose shadow we are increasingly sensitive to living in, that will finally restore this country to the imitation of responsibility and democracy that was ours before W drove the American myth off a cliff.

Although we are left with hard times and a maelstrom of uncertainty in all sectors owing to our collective decision to test Colin Powell’s Pottery Barn rule on our own government, it has nonetheless been a great ride for a bitch-and-moaner such as myself. Every expectation I had for christian, corporate, right wing rule was fulfilled in all their delightful permutations over the past eight years, leaving the nation with a smarting lesson we will feel for generations.

Will we learn that lesson? We’re clearly a country that is slow on the uptake. After all, did our government glean that the instances of drunken businessmen bursting into airplane cockpits (a brief trend a few years before 9/11) was the signal to an enemy with a history of skyjacking that the coast was clear for a Great Leap Forward?

We didn’t get it then, the same way we didn’t realize that all those platinum cards that fluttered into our wallets like butterflies in the 90’s were the harbinger of another wicked scheme that has yielded a harvest of despair for the nation.

My native cynicism wants to kick into overdrive now, invoke Katrina, Iraq, global warming, and stab a finger at those who ignored the soothsayers who tried to shout their warnings above the din. I  want to throw my searing holy water on the devils of the media–O’Reilly, Coulter, Medved, the entire tenth circle of the fourth estate–who drowned us in their shit and irrelevance.

But no garden is without its weeds, usually choked by healthier vegitation, thriving only in an environment that is welcoming to them. And we the people people– doltish, bored, easily suckered–were the sunshine they drank.

Cynicism is a lazy man’s redoubt, however. An excuse not to reconstruct. A great deal lies in ruins at the end of the two-term catstrophe, but as the Buddha says, “after the fire, a blade of grass.”

And so, Obama. A blade of grass for certain, though much more of an unknown quantity than our desperate hallelujah’s would suggest. As he begins to write himself into history, we had better make damn sure we are studying more than his penmanship.

I didn’t vote for him. I am through with symbols, especially ones that have all the superficial appeal of a summer blockbuster (I didn’t go to see Hulk either, for the same reasons). “Must see” movies  and “must vote” candidates are all part of the same Hollywood glamour that has filled our eyes with sequins for too long

I voted Nader, and will judge Barack by those standards. At the same time I will not switch gears on command and let Jon Stewart (still a hero of the Bush resistance) or Rachel Maddow (ehh) goad me into discomfiture because Obama went all political when choosing who to deliver the invocation at his swearing in. Co-opting one of the most popular shepherds of the Bush base plays well for our side, and if it signals that butt sex will get put on the back burner of issues for a little while, I can cope. The other side might enjoy the break too. Let’s let the homeless have the spotlight. There’s about to be a lot more of them.

One year left, and then the roaring zeroes give way to the double digits of the third millennium which, of course, will be the era in which I die. I think I’ll scribble a few lines of my own into that history book this year. Lord knows I’ve got the ink.

Happy New Year.

Now wait one goddamn minute!

December 29th, 2008

So now it turns out that Obama is only exactly as smart as Bush? He promised change, goddammit! CHAAAAAANGE!

Santa, you DO exist!

December 26th, 2008

My cronies at the Ghostbusters NightSquad Commando 13 Headquarters Playset gave me the thing I wanted most for Christmas: free advertising!

(Bo, Crago and Jennifer will be featured in the upcoming direct to DVD release of Ghostbusters 3: The Search for Ernie Hudson’s Career.)

More sketchery

December 23rd, 2008

Watching Deadwood makes me feel all…oooo…western!

Brown Out

December 11th, 2008
December 11th’s installment of Weapon Brown iz quite zee nice cliffhanger, non? I hope I can ask for you to hold onto that cliff a little longer than extra…I must again take one of my brief hiatuses.             

No! Don’t surrender to gravity! It is all for the best! With the New York Comicon approaching in February, I have determined to collect the current Weapon Brown material into a whole new 48 page comic book, part one of two issues that will encompass the entirety of Blockhead’s War before I collect everything into the trade paperback I have been tantalizing you with for a while.

And so, I am taking a month off to prepare this volume and also to bank the next set of story pages so I can keep up with my weekly schedule. The good news is that you will get a whole new Weapon Brown comic to own (with a very sexy cover that I have already painted, I might add. Can’t wait to show you!) It will also be highly collectible, since I will only be selling it at shows and online until the trade comes out next summer, and then never again. That’s worth a little nap time, right?

Don’t get me wrong–I hate going on these breaks. I don’t like interrupting my flow, and I never like to risk losing any fans. If you have been enjoying the strip, pretty please join my mailing list so I can let you know when it’s back. Just click here and make “SUBSCRIBE” your subject line. I promise: I send e-mails only rarely with relevant announcements about new products and other crucial goodness. And you can remove yourself with ease. jooooin ussssss

In the meantime, the website will continue with regular updates, so keep coming back anyway, not the least reason being to bid on my awesome art auctions like the one below!

“I’m sorry, Mr. Leonidas. You cannot dine in hell without a dinner jacket.”

 

This is the one, the only Leonidas of SPARTAAAAAA! The art is 11 x 14, pen&ink and watercolor on bristol, and fairly sizzles with drama. This piece is a departure for me, since my art is usually either full color or only black and white. Should look great under any Christmas tree! Go here to bid!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fuck Obama! Weapon Brown in ‘08!

December 2nd, 2008

The election may be over, but the voting has just begun! I refer to that little “Vote TWC Top 100″ button now underneath the strip. Yes, you can help advance the cause of my hard-working strip that brings you so much joy by voting for me and increasing its exposure on a well-trafficked comics listing site. Do it now! Do it it do it do it do it! Dooooo it! Do it! Doitdoitdoit! Dooot! DOOOOOOOT!

You can actually vote once every eight hours, so don’t hesitate to vote for Weapon Brown every time you read it, and after each meal, and why not every time you surf for porn as well?

It Crawled from the Sketchbook!

November 29th, 2008
Another scrawling from the Necronomicon that is my wirebound Strathmore premium recycled sketchbook. Its amazing the wit that coffee at a bagel shop can inspire.
 
I also have begun a new E-Bay auction for a sexy masterpiece that would look good under any tree or menorah: Witchblade!
Wooooeeehooooo…witchay wooo-mon…

 

Witchypoo is scantily clad, as always, save for a few scraps of jagged armor, and is striking a come-hither Saturday morning cartoon pose. The art is 11 x 17, pen&ink on bristol, and loaded with lots of little details for you people who go over your artwork with a jeweler’s loupe. This piece has a low reserve too, so it can be yours for a song. Go here to bid!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clarissa brings the sad-making lulz

November 24th, 2008

According to 4chan, my dear, sweet Clarissa is creepypasta. But do not bother trying to confirm it. History has already swept her aside.

Precious, precious, unarchived validation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pen Poop

November 12th, 2008

Here’s a scribble from my sketchbook. This is what genius looks like in it’s unprocessed form before it is refined and sold to school children. I think I’ll start putting these up once in a while.

 

 

 

Cruel rules

November 2nd, 2008

Just recently I created an animated trailer for one Russ Colchamiro, talented author of Finders Keepers, a sublime novel about two buds who find a jar of the Univere’s DNA and, instead of rushing to the nearest free clinic for a shot of penicillin, go on a kooky adventure across Europe. This book will inspire a 2011 summer blockbuster called FK, and it’s inevitable sequel, FK2: Rise of the Jar.

For a sneak peak of what you can expect, go to Russ’ website and scroll to the bottom to watch the trailer. Yes, Iggy Pop gave me permission to use the music. No, I don’t have it in writing. Iggy doesn’t roll that way.

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