TMI
I decided to take my outrage at the Battleship movie more publicker and launched a thread on the Something Awful forums, asking people to suppose what other board game-to-movie adaptations might be in the works. There have been some amusing Photoshopped speculations. Take a look! Below is my own prediction.
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Chicago and Baltimore were great shows! I was happy to meet so many of my fans face to face, and only wish that some of you would invest in some face cream. Here is a round-up of a few of my precious memories. As usual a slip of the tongue here, a misinterpreted glance there, and I suddenly found myself in hot water.
I’m not sure who this chick is dressed up as, but if I had to guess, I’d say she is portraying the Black Widow from Iron Man 2, but from an alternate universe where Scarlett Johnansson lost the role to Janeane Garafalo.
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How did I upset this red raccoon pirate? HOW???
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Ur-Blockhead Rene Castellano shows off his newest acquisition: the Blockhead’s War page with Alley Oop’s dick. Yep. He’s the one who finally went for it. Rene Castellano, folks.
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I leered at Hit Girl and told her “I’d hit that!”, and got what I deserved.
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These are mushroom soldiers from Super Mario Bros., dressed up as I don’t know what from Kingdom Hearts. The logo on my shirt is like a swastika in their world or something.
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Nine times out of ten, promising that I will “swallow the soul” of my customer leads to a sale. Not this time, though.
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Honestly, all I asked Gumby was if–being made out of clay as he is and being exposed to the air and all– he was getting hard . I think he deliberately misunderstood me.
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You have to be careful what time of the month you choose for cunnilingus, Vision. She’s called the Scarlet Witch for a reason.
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Please, don’t shoot! It’s not a come-on line! There really is an oven mitt on your shoulder! |
Teabagged by Captain Underpants. Nice knowin’ ya, teaching career! |
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Finally, I met those crazy guys from Red Letter Media, the ones responsible for the Star Wars reviews I will describe to anyone who will listen like some alien-abducted Alaskan lumberjack, in Chicago. They graciously took a couple copies of Weapon Brown off of me and returned the favor by gifting me with a copy of their cool movie, a Gremlins/Critters/Ghoulies homage called Feeding Frenzy. And look! They even featured Weapon Brown in their post-con video. Thanks guys! As soon as I’ve got some weed I am watching the hell out of Feeding Frenzy. I mean, I’m sure it’s great without drug-enhancement, but I don’t want to miss out on its deeper significance.
“Well, this shit won’t sell. Maybe we could E-bay the painting.” |
You told me that was a self portrait of you! You lied! I want my money back.
Jealous you met the RLM guys. And looks like you had a great time, which makes me even more jealous. 🙂
Every convention I see you die multiple, often horrible, deaths.
JUST WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF!?
viz. Iducyc
I told you when I took that Captain Underpants pic that you’d get looks from your family. I see you posted it anyway. You live dangerously, Jason.