My recent comic strip-delaying trip to the Chicago Comic-Con, aka Wizard Chicago, aka the Mulligan Peters Sourdough Biscuit LLC Comics Trade Show, was a resounding success! I sold many a product, shook the sweaty hand of many a fan, and, as is par for the course, I had my ass kicked repeatedly by costumed yokels with no sense of humor. The crux of my lawsuit against a the American Cosplay Guild is documented below.

Okay, you’re not a Power Ranger and you’re not a Pokémon. You’re still Japanese right? That means I’m owed a panty flash!

Yes! I swear! I SWEAR I’VE GOT MILK!!

What? I can’t understand you. Are you saying “om nom nom”? Here, let me lean in closer…

This guy was dressed up as Bill Gates dressed up as Mister Rogers dressed up as the kid from FLCL. I told him he was too fuckin’ meta.

Long time fans, be gone! I have found the one true Blockhead, and he has agreed to solo-fund all my Kickstarter campaigns from now on!

Caffeine-free Mr. T refused to pity me.

Hmmm… nice costumes and all, but I dunno… could you maybe fuse yourselves into into some sort of “bananun”?

Nope, nope, I definitely liked you better the other way.

YOU are the law? My good Mr. Dredd, let me recall for you what Benedict Spinoza had to say about such things…OW!!

Please God, let me have just one lick of this giant root beer barrell before I die…

Stop! You don’t understand! I’m with Occupy too!

But seriously…how would you feel about a pity screw behind the Mighty Muggs booth?

Okay, I learned my lesson last year: your name is Black Lightning, not Black Vulcan, right? Arrghh! Foiled again!!