Not Up for Debate
The moment has arrived! After years of campaigning, mudslinging, shit-flinging, hate-speeching and conspiracy mongering, the final assault on the voters’ patience is about to be launched! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: debating time is here!
Yes, the presidential debates! That risible, expertly scripted quest for the almighty game-changing zinger ! This is the moment where a racist, Red State Tea Bircher might suddenly switch sides and vote for a man he would otherwise murder his family to escape from. Or maybe the expert arguments of Mitt Romney will swing the needle of a Prius-driving leftist with “Coexist” tattooed on his earlobe so that he sympathizes with a man who thinks that half the nation sleeps on a mattress of government cheese.
Or perhaps the undecided sliver of the public that can’t tell shit from Shinola will finally make up their minds based on the candidates’ neckties! Anything is possible!
We have been told for weeks, literally since the Romney suicide note that was the “47%” video, that these debates will be something akin to Luke facing Vader on Bespin, as though something of significance were at stake. The only thing I hope is that al Qaeda has been holding one jet liner in reserve since 9/11 and isn’t using Apple Maps to find Denver. Fuck the President, the contender, Jim Lehrer and anyone alive who still thinks these stand-up routines have any substance. I’d rather listen to Siri debate Retard Batman than watch the two people who think they have the right to lead  this country stand side by side at last and ignore each other, matching wits only with their cue cards.
I won’t be watching any of the debates, and I hope you won’t either. How many election cycles do we have to wince through before we get the joke?
I don’t know. Unlike the TV ads, the political rallies or the softball TV interviews, this might be one of the few times where they might just go off script.
A man can dream can’t he?
The Mr Hand in the magic underwear who made millions by crushing abortions under his mighty Italian loafer won the debate against the other Mr Hand the magic ngro who just can’t sound good without a hand up his… . The 47% gaff is true, people are afraid to lose anything whether real or imaginary as many hold onto their guns and religion. So vote for the Master’s right hand or left to get that bone in the water you see, some people will always smile when getting a bone. Remember James Tiberius Kirk won by not playing their game. As for me, Pat Paulson gets my vote (yes a vote for a dead man who could not walk on water), but to quote Jessica Rabbit, “he makes me laugh”.
I don’t bother with debates. They never answer the most important question; “What can ya do for me?”.
Romney ‘won’ the debate tactically, but I’m pretty sure he lost it strategically. Aggression and attacking is going to look better the night of the debate, but to do it Romney had to pander his butt off on his tax plan and how he would cover pre-existing conditions if Obamacare is repealed. Obama also boxed Romney in on Medicare vouchers and the Republican refusal to raise even $1 in new taxes on deficit reduction.
Romney won the night on stage, but Obama is going to win the next 10 days putting up ads based on all of the issues above. Romney’s plans either don’t add up, or are 70/30-region unpopular.
Also, too: Gallup came out with today’s polls, and Obama’s favorable rating is the highest it’s been at any time during the campaign.