I recently had an issue with my scanner. Yes, the scanner; the very device that translates my artwork into digital data and teleports it onto the Intertubes. It began placing vertical streaks on my work, and after the best advice that total strangers on the Web could offer failed to resolve the problem, I elected to remove the glass and clean an element that, in all likelihood, had nothing to do with the issue. And that was when it happened.

My DNA did not mutate.

And that alone could have saved the day, for only an instant transformation of my genome could have turned me into a person who had any business tampering with any of mankind’s inventions that possess more than one moving part or harness the mighty electron. Behold.

No, I did not damage the glass that badly. The crack I put in the glass is too fine to be captured by the camera I have not yet destroyed. But it may as well be that bad. Not only was I faced with streaks, I now had a brand new line on my scans, one that could not be eradicated.

And so, with my scanner beyond redemption, I strapped on the red pumps and tight leather mini that I know the sailors like and prepared to raise the money  for a new scanner by the only means I know.

And then… I remembered the slobbering apes true blue fans of my mailing list!

This weekend past, I posted a fire sale of my previously unpromulgated Weapon Brown pages with a few elite-level incentives, and you guys were there for me! In two days I raised enough for a new, high-end scanner.

So, thank you very much, my loyal addicts. You guys really came through in a pinch, and I will not be forced to peddle my sweet ass to purchase the tools of my trade. I will simply do it for fun.

As for you folks who are now kicking yourselves because you reeeeeally wanted to own that awesome, key moment in the Weapon Brown saga, I always try to remind you that my mailing list homies get props that the common salt do not. It don’t cost nuthin’ to join, and who knows what my next special deal will be? Joooinnn ussssss….